Losing A Loved One
A letter to widows/widowers…
Whether the death was planned or unexpected does not make this process any easier. For most of our clients, it’s not about them dying… it’s about their family living. It has been said that the beginning of wisdom is calling things by their right names. DEATH—this is what it is. Your loved one didn’t pass, they died. We as a society do not like to talk about death so we create clever phrases to avoid calling it what it is—DEATH. We often don’t understand why things like this happen. We rarely ever know “why”, and honestly it wouldn’t make a difference if we did. The reality remains. It did happen. So what now? Death is not fair, it is not logical, and it is always too soon when it’s someone you love. People think they need to apologize for their tears. They always say “I’m sorry” when they start to cry. They think they are “strong” if they don’t cry. They’re wrong. You are so strong and so courageous when you are willing to face and work through those tough, painful emotions. It is not the strong people who don’t cry; it’s the strong ones who do.
Besides, it’s a path to healing and we want to support you on that path. So this office is a safe and confidential place. Anything you’re going through is OK here. In this office, you can cry anytime…no apologies necessary. Healing doesn’t mean you “get over it,” you “put it behind you,” or you forget. You do have to let go of what can no longer be, but you carry the love, the life, the lessons, and the memories with you forever. You honor the person by living as fully as possible now, enriched by those memories. Expect that grief is more volatile than the stock market. It will be up, down, back, forward, and all over the place. You may feel like you’re taking three steps forward and two steps back. That’s normal. You are healing and you will heal, but it won’t be a smooth and predictable path. Trust your own instincts and do what you are ready to do, no matter what other people say. Everyone grieves in their own way and on their own timetable. No one is truly dead from this earth until there is not a person left alive who speaks their name or tells their story.
Our purpose together is to help you achieve your goals, and your biggest goal right now is to get through this, to find a way to put the pieces back together and regain joy in life. We want to support that goal for you, so we will be here for the long haul, doing everything we can to make this difficult experience a little bit easier for you. You still have a future, it will just be a very different future than the one you had planned. Yet it can still hold great satisfaction, peace, and true joy.
The Wealth Transition Collective